Life Changes & A Sense of Accomplishment
I’m realizing how much of what I’m sharing on here feels like I’m just posting diary/journal entries to the web. I mean, I guess that comes from me growing up in the Live Journal days?
I’m feeling this weird sense of I don’t know… accomplishment. Connection to myself? Like, I keep telling myself, “Anthony, I’m proud of you. You’ve got this.” And it feels so good. I feel like I’ve been walking and walking for years searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. And it’s finally right there in front of me. And I’m jumping up in excitement screaming, “OMG, this long ass walk in the darkness paid off.”
I’m big on having a theme for my year to help guide my actions and thoughts in my life and only recently have I been struggling to have a theme. It’s not a bad thing I keep telling myself. And it doesn’t exactly feel like I’m in limbo or anything either. So far, all I’ve had as a sort-of theme has been either “The Year of Renewal” or “The Year of Change”. Neither fully resonate with me, but they’re the closest I’ve gotten where I feel it’s what is representative of how I’m feeling and navigating life at this current point in time.
I’ve been tackling scary things that I didn’t think I would have the courage to get around to ever approaching or even considering. And I’m just so damn proud of myself. Sounds weird. Sounds child-like. But it’s fueling me. It’s pushing me. It’s exciting me.
I’m not ready to share all the things cause truthfully, everything is still in the middle. But it’s all progress. And I feel like myself again, but in a new way?? I guess it’s my age. Haha.
I guess what I will share is that some of what I’m working on is tapping into my creative side again. I feel I’ve been in too much of a “focus on my business” mode for so many years. Particularly since the pandemic. But it’s time I go back to my childlike creative expression again.
Not that I ever finish projects, but I came up with a new one this past week. I’m going to try and take people’s portraits right in my neighborhood. Specifically, right behind a shopping center so that I can utilize a simple backdrop and various-looking sunlight. And they will all be in black in white. It’ll be fun. No stress. Give me the freedom to create. Give me constraints too. And allow me to meet people. And having people meet me in my neighborhood where I won’t always be living, will add a story for me. There’s a lot in this neighborhood for me to be able to look back on. And starting a project when I’m in this really good place emotionally is the perfect time to create something wonderful.
And lastly, I finished my first song for my first-ever solo music project. The song is completely written. I recorded the drums and bass. Now I just need to sit and record the guitars and synths. I haven’t come up with a name for the song though. Coming up with names for instrumental songs is tough. But I’m not worried about that now. I’ll figure it out. Once it’s ready for release, I’m even going to design the artwork for it too.
Ugh. Feels good creating again.