Life lately, has been tough.
I’ll be completely and utterly honest.
Around this time of year I’m busy, which is good financial and creatively for me. But this time around, Amanda has been more and more involved with school, which of course is good. It’s just been crazy. She’s been having a lot of late nights studying, working, and preparing. And in the midst of both of our crazy schedules, we make our life work. We find time for all the things that matter and we make sure both of us are able to do our things while the other keeps it all together.
It gets tough.
Not seeing each other so often or having to take on more duties on our own than we’re use to… but we both make it work and we fucking own it. We know what our vision is for our future.
All of the madness makes me appreciate everything that much more. When you have little time for each other, you soak in every moment.
I have been wanting to wake up super early lately in order to work on new personal routines, but sometimes just staying in bed to get in extra cuddle time with Amanda is well worth it.
Ethan has been having me shed tears left and right lately. Yesterday and today it’s been me and him pretty much. Every night before bed, I make sure to do a gratitude thing with him. Both of us tell each other what we like about each other. Normally, if all three of us are here, we all say something to each other. However, on the days Amanda works late, he and I will still say what we like about each other, plus what we like about his mom and my Amanda… just like she’s here. The past two nights, he’s told me that he loves how hard his mom works for us and he likes how hard I work for us and that he likes that I take pictures for people in love. My heart fucking melted… tears fell from my eyes immediately, and I put him to bed. Now, I’m sitting outside the bedroom, on the stairs, typing this all out cause I want to remember and share this moment.
I don’t give a fuck what anyone says about how being a step-parent is always being second best. I don’t feel that one bit. I’m a fucking parent and a dad no matter what. He’s not my own and I may not what my own actual son, but damnit I love him so fucking much.
Life is crazy and tough… but I’m proud of our life. I’m proud of our struggles. We’re doing what we love and loving our life so fucking hard that nothing else fucking matters.
I’m blessed and grateful it all.