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@_ANTHONYGAUNA

The weather in San Antonio today has me reflecting The weather in San Antonio today has me reflecting on the past week. I've been in such a great mood this past week and it's all been just because of the weather change. And today is... well... OMG... AMAZING! Like, for real... just the smell of the air today makes me happy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Once the weather gets to be too cold to be outside, all that will probably change. But for the time being, I'm enjoying this weather as much as possible. I LOVE the Fall season. The colors in my work definitely reflect that as well as the overall colors of Texas. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Life is still weird these days for me, but emotionally, I feel much better just because of the weather change. Now, because I don't know how to write or transition or whatever, here's some updates: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I'm putting together my first monthly email newsletter post, so if you aren't already on my email list (you guessed it), you can find the link in my bio. And I'm still looking for individuals and couples interested in being a part of my new portfolio building photo project. I'm working on putting together a Pinterest mood board. Plus, I still don't have an inquiry page to sign up yet either. LOL. So if you're interested, just simply DM me in the meantime.
This year has been full of ups and downs for me. T This year has been full of ups and downs for me. To be honest, I've had more downs than ups, but recently I began thinking about how much I've learned about myself from this year alone so far. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ One thing I've learned is how much I've realized I'm not as introverted as I thought. I've learned that I rely on human interaction a lot. Even if it's tiny bits of human interaction like small talk at the grocery store. I found myself spending lots more time with clients on video chat and then apologizing for talking their ears off. Lol. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Another, is realizing that I need activity. I've never been a huge fitness person. I'm still not. But without photographing weddings, I've realized how much weddings were a huge part of my fitness. Now that the weather is nice, I've been waking up and going for walks in the morning to watch the sun rise. Just those 30 minutes of walking has greatly improved my moods each day. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Another thing is that I definitely need time to myself. Time to reflect or create. Those things recharge me. Even just a simple drive in my car. I love blasting my screamy music by myself and driving around. I take a lot more scenic routes these days. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Lastly, is what I've always known, which is actually what ties everything together - Why I photograph people and why weddings. These two things tie it all together. They give me all of what I need to be happy, stable, fit, etc. It's pretty fucking wild. The pandemic fucked me up, but I'm understanding myself more than ever now and I'm optimizing as much as I can and when I can. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ How are you doing these days?
Bringing back my personal photo project session si Bringing back my personal photo project session since this past March was a total success and such fun. Emily is actually the person who won the giveaway I did last month on the launch of my new website, but she also wanted to participate in my project. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ With 95% of my weddings for the remaining of 2020 needing to be postponed to next year, I'm left with my very first open Fall season. It's so strange. It also has me worried how much I might be working next year. Lol. Anyhow, for the time being, because the pandemic gave me lemons, I'm making lemonade and adding in a splash of whiskey. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I'm going to use my down time to work on building a new portfolio of work. I'm going to use this time to continue to work on my skills and experiment. I'll be accepting some free/collaborative work.I won't be excepting every type of shoot, however. Not just because of time, but because I want it to align with the future of my work. I'm wanting to focus on portraits and intimate lifestyle/"boudoir (but not really)" type of work (especially with couples). That's really the aspect of my work I want to build more upon and practice with. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I haven't had the time yet to make a sign up page, but you can DM me or email me in the meantime if you're interested in participating. Please note that for these sessions, I can only guarantee 1 to maybe 10 photos. You must be more interested in the process than the outcome. If you're feeling bold or, most importantly, have a story you want told, reach out.
I feel like people think I'm full of shit when I s I feel like people think I'm full of shit when I say that I legitimately want to get hired by/photograph people that I'll eventually become friends with. Some people think it's crazy that I've turned down couples/money because I felt like I wasn't going to be a right fit. Being able to mesh with people is a big part of what I do. One of those couples was Claire and Trey. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I remember talking to them on Skype or Zoom or FaceTime or whatever during their scheduled chat with me a few years ago. They were literally driving down to Texas moving. I was amazed about how committed they were. We talked for hours. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Come their wedding day, I was glad I hired on a second photographer cause they wound up making a speech about me to their guests while giving me a Dundie award that I still have today. I fucking cried. They told everyone about how I helped them become closer and how much I cared. I stayed longer than I was paid for because I cared to much to leave. I also took shots of Jameson that night with them. I still have that Dundie. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Later on, I invited them to me and Amanda's wedding. During that time in our life, we were living in Waco and driving back and forth to San Antonio for my work. Life was crazy. Once we moved back to SA and got used to life again, the pandemic hit. And this week, they're moving out of Texas. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We met up with them today for lunch and it was lovely. I'm totally awkward at goodbyes and I had so many feelings. One was being awkward. The other was guilt for not being able to hang out more. The other was happiness for being friends with amazing people and seeing them once more. I love what I do. The relationships I've made through just a fucking camera trips me the fuck out. I'm so damn grateful. Scroll through to see some of my favorite moments with Claire and Trey.
I will warn you... I'm listening to Jagged Little I will warn you... I'm listening to Jagged Little Pill as I write this. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I had some friends tell me that they read my posts. My response was, "The fuck? Really? I didn't think anyone really reads the shit I write cause it's usually a lot of text and also very real and very emo." Lol. Then they said, "Yeah, I also read the posts on your blog", which is something I thought no one actually reads either. I approach my social media posts and blog posts the same way. I shed so much of my personal self and life into them. It made me feel happy that people actually do read my long ass captions and blogs... Especially during the time of 2020. It's such a crazy time we're all living through. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I guess what I'm saying is that I view these captions as small blog entries or diary entries that I share with the internet. I thank anyone who stops scrolling to read my feelings. It's my form of therapy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I don't have much else to say other than: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I'm sad that this is the first fall season that I am completely empty with weddings. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I'm happy that I'm embracing/pushing that sad bullshit aside and continuing to focus on what I can focus on... photography my way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I'm excited to push my personal photography project within the next few months and also my photography as a whole. These next few months won't be focused on making money, but creating and making photos out of my norm. Next week, will be my first personal photo project session. I'm excited to just create. Who knows what the hell will come out of it. I have no ideas planned (just as I like). I'm telling myself that I don't need to make money in order to be happy. But, I do need money to survive and I need the passion of photography to push my creativity and future paid work further. So here's to the future! Let's see what happens for the remaining of the year and work I create.
Last night, I went for a walk by myself down on th Last night, I went for a walk by myself down on the riverwalk. The weather has just been too damn amazing not to enjoy it. I walked by the old bar I used to frequent. It was dark and obviously closed. It made me sad. That's where I was always at. Seeing my best friend, listening to music, editing photos, going there after a long wedding night, etc. People always knew where to find me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It had me missing being able to see friends on a regular basis. It had me missing seeing my friend Mikey perform. It also had me thinking about my last therapy session. After talking about all my feelings, my therapist told me that I'm experiencing my own sort of grief from the pandemic. They said I should find ways to take care of myself that work for me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A week later, I cancelled my upcoming sessions and on last night's walk I decided that I needed to commit a few things to myself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I need to be better at following up with friends to check in with them and try to schedule virtual chats or social distance hang outs. I also decided that I need to be persistent in pursuing a photo project for myself even if it's not for money. I need to create in order to get in my human interaction time and creative time. If you want to be a part of this project, see my IG highlights on my profile, then DM me for getting a conversation started. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ For me, this is deeper than just photos. I'll leave it at just that.
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