What I’m Doing Now

Getting An ADHD Diagnosis

Earlier this year, I was listening to a podcast and the person being interviewed mentioned how they use their calendar and to-do list. They had said that having multiple color-coded calendars and time blocking their entire day with all these different colored calendars helped them manage their ADHD. At that moment, I thought, wait… this isn't normal? I thought I was just being super organized. After doing a bunch of research on ADHD, my entire life is now making sense to me. It seems as though I've been coping and finding ways to make life easier.

Anyhow, I scheduled a doctor's appointment and going to begin my first step toward getting an official diagnosis.

Exploring New Job Options

This one is pretty scary to think about and put out there, but it's feeling like it's the right time to make some moves. A ton of things have been pointing me to perhaps finding something new. Maybe it's the ADHD. Lol. But either way, I think it's time.

I've been feeling burnt out on taking care of my photography business and truthfully I'm tired of doing all the many things it takes to ensure the business is running and that I'm making money. If I don't promote, no one knows about me. And if no one knows about me, I don't make money.

And because I'm always in "keep-the-business-alive-work-mode", I feel that the excitement in my work has been lacking. I think when people first read "Exploring New Job Options", they might think it's because I want to stop doing photography. But in fact, it's the complete opposite. I would like to break free from having to feel like I need to constantly be hustling to stay afloat in order to do something I love.

I've been caught up in having the identity of being a "successful business owner and photographer" for so long that I feel I don't create just-for-fun photos as much as I used to. This is also due to where my family and I are at in life. Trying to fit in all the things is a lot to manage.

Finding a new job would mean not having as many photography clients, but I think it would also feel more freeing. I haven't thought much else on all this. I'm still exploring options, prepping my resume, and reading up on jobby-job things since I haven't worked for anyone other than myself for over 11 years.

Writing Music

This one is also related to the above update. I've gotten back into music and want to write again. This time though, I'm not trying to chase making a name for myself musically or get popular. Lol. I just want to make music for myself. It's calming and meditative.

When I used to play in bands, I would come to practice with an idea and everyone would collaborate to make the song complete. My goal right now is to write and release a few songs that are all done by me. It's been difficult only having myself to bounce ideas off of, but it's equally just as fun because there are no rules. I have one song that I need to finish recording parts for, but I also haven't quite found the full direction of the "band" yet either. This is a "just do the damn thing" sort of a situation I've put on myself.

The problem with getting back into music is the guilt I have when taking time out of my day to just write. Cause it's just for funsies. I feel so guilty because, in the back of my mind, I know I could be using my time to work on my business that could bring in more money. But overall, I can't wait to put out my first song. Mainly cause I love the band name I've chosen. I'm not ready to tell anyone that just yet. But it's a nickname my son called me at one point when he was younger.

This Blog/Website

Lastly, I'm making it a point to give this website some love. I haven't touched it in ages, but once again, I think it goes back to all the above things I've listed. I just want to feel guilt-free from having to always be in "business mode". I've always been about documenting feelings and emotions, no matter if it's music, photos, journaling, or even design. Expect more posts on my blog.